what an awful night. I got so little sleep, just tossing and turning. I did get an hour here and there, so hopefully enough to give me the wherewithal to face the day and whatever it brings.
neph, I wish I had kept a full draft. my friend was rattling things off and I was just typing away, trying to shift them into my own words and such. there was a paragraph about abusive language and such that I ended up cutting, but I don't remember exactly what it said. I just felt like this said it all without language that I knew would get his hackles up...although that abusive language paragraph was one she thought was really important for whatever reason.
my instinct is always to not let someone know that I am hurting. letting him know that this month is hard for me is so against what I would normally do, that that was hard for me. its something my friend told me I should do last week, actually, and she was right (as usual). I should have. likely it would have diffused some of what happened because he would have had a heads up, at least. who knows. but its out there now.
I don't know if he is working today or not, I sent the e-mail to his work e-mail. we'll see what his response is.
in the meantime, a cold, rainy day here. I'm going to head to the gym, assuming the play room is open. other than that, I'm going to play with my kids...just going to concentrate on them today. I'd like to spend a little time reading one of the books I just bought, and writing in my journal.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
