Ouch! The truth...Now what?

[theotherhalf]

yes I have to protect my source as I don't want to lose that insight as to whether or not they are seeing each other. I don't believe a word from H so therfore there is no other way for me to know.

BIL told me tonight that H made a comment to him the night he invited me to his house that we can get along and still be friends. Like that is why he invited me.

Well in perfect world that would be great. And I know that some people do continue to be friends after divorce. But for H and I? I really don't see that happening.

I cannot be a friend to someone that I love SOOOOO much and has hurt me SOOOOO deeply. I cannot live the rest of my life seeing him, spending time with him, being friendly, but that's it. Never being able to be held by him, to kiss him, to sleep with him, to ML to him, to cry with him, to laugh with him, to spend my days with him, my nights. And in NO way will I ever be able to be friends with him if he stays with this OW.

I cannot believe that this man was my husband. His mind is so distorded. What the hell is he thinking? Does he think I am made of cardboard?