Grandchildren

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she
applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"

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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to
know you sooner!"

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how
you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No,
how are we alike?" "You're both old," he replied.

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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for
me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself."

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My 3-year-old granddaughter and I were studying the world globe, and
finding different points of interest. I pointed to the ocean and asked
her what that was. She was hesitant to answer, so I said, "that's the
ocean." Whereupon she said, "Very good!"

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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after
us with flashlights."

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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised. "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."

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A second grader came home from school and said to her grand mother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple,"
replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'"

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Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked. Yes," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child. "

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing
the dog's duties. They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No, said another, "he's just for good luck." A third child brought the
argument to a close. "They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the
fire hydrants."

The End


Me 48
X's vary
S 27
S 18
Back with high school sweety after 30 years..