OK the worst part is over. It was a mini bomb, yet another one.
He gave you no choice but to stand up for yourself and you did. How you had a clear mind and remembered your entitlement to retirement is beyond me, but you ARE a brilliant lady. You do not need to get a divorce. This does not mean that you need to get a divorce.
My mother's companion of 20 years did the same thing:cashed in their stocks, sold their boat, bought an expensive condo, tried to make a new life and start over. He is now babysitting at her house with my kids and they are planning a trip to China. It took almost a year but my mom DBed ike crazy. Just like you, well without the tears. You do not need to get a divorce. A legal separation may not even protect you at this point? It will protect me in Cali but I do not know what you have to gain or lose. It is fine to have a back up plan, but my BFF stayed a SAHM even after her divorce. I have two part time jobs but I am with my kids a lot during the time that they really need me! You can do whatever you set your mind to. He has an obligation but if he is experiencing temporary insanity or MLC then yes, listen to 789 and get thee a lawyer. I have yet to do any of that stuff myself.
He seems to still be in Stage 3 of an Affair. 1. Demonizing Spouse 2. Rewriting History 3. Pushing Away (by any means neccessary-money, kids, sex, put downs, abuse) 4. Seeking Approval 5. Restoring Balance
Just because we all rewrite history does not mean that love was not there. That it is still not there. Even after all this hurt we know that love is still there. It just needs to be a choice for the WS.
My brother, the high powered attorney, and my mother ,the business gangster, keep reminding me to act like I am giving him what he wants and he will take less than half. The more we try to keep something the more value we give it and the more they will covet it. Psychology. They say to play nice now and we will end up with more. It only needs to get nasty when lawyers are involved. Just do not let it get nasty.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
