Out of the Abyss...

[ediemarie]

On the way to my parents H and I spoke at length about our R. It was good stuff. A postive conversation believe it or not. I was able to bring up him leaving his job. Conversation went like this:
M- can I just say something really quickly about your job sitch?
H - yeah, but I don't want to really talk about it.
M - Ok, I was just thinking about how you could quit.
H - I already know what I'm going to say. "Mr. Principal, you know the situation here with Ms. OW, there is far to much pressure for me to maintain my job, I'm not comfortable leaving in the middle of the school year, but I don't see anyway around this, do you know of any open positions in any other school district, could you please provide me with a recommendation."
M - Wow. I didn't realize you had thought this much about it. That's fantastic. I was thinking though that it might be difficult for you to just walk in and begin speaking. Maybe one thing you could do is jut hand him your resignation letter facilitating the discussion.
H - hmm...that might work.

That was it. Nothing else was said about his job. That was over 24 hours ago. I'm pretty sure he won't do it. It takes H a long time to follow through. I'm nervous that now he and I are on a more even keel he won't feel the need to resign.

BUT -
in speaking with H this weekend he said the following words to me:
- I had an affair because having a R with OW was easier than having one with you
- I didn't think it was necessary to quit my job in order to end my R with her. I now see I can't work with her. I must break off all contact.
- I would like us to renew our vows next summer and take a honeymoon trip
- I'm scared to pursue a R with you
- Retro is really improving our marriage
- I am choosing you
- in the past when he heard me asking him to quit his job, he didn't hear, I love you, I want to be with you, he heard me trying to win an argument and that his job was the argument. He now sees that it's the love I have for him and the pain the job is causing us as my reasons for desiring him to quit.

H was pretty hesitant Saturday to go to my parents. I assured him that I would not put any pressure on him while there and that I would be positive the whole weekend. I did exactly that. I kept everything light and positive and we had a fantastic weekend. My mom said to me this morning that last year it appeared that H was just going through the motions to improve our m, but this weekend it appears that he is really making an effort to be loving and it appears that he truly cares. She sited some examples from the weekend. It was nice to hear that. I haven't and am not going to tell her the most recent developments but the more she sees an effort from him, the more she will be able to accept him.

Ok - I think that's the whole update. I'm nervous for tomorrow (em's knees are knocking). I don't think he'll quit, so I'm concerned that he's going to see OW and all of this will cycle again. Mark my words folks, I may be writing this all over again 1 month from now...