Your situation is different in that you know OW...H's OW was a total stranger to me...but after I found out the truth the vile words came at me from her...I think it is their guilt and they are trying to justify their actions as well...
You are probably right to back off and wait...I know my H defended OW even after he was home..."she was the perfect woman" "she was submissive and supportive" "there isn't anything she wouldn't have done to support me"....and more
Take care...and I had my ways of KNOWING too...some H still doesn't know...and I don't think I will ever tell...but if you ever need to talk more privately I can supply a safe email...but for now...take care of you...Lin
