Just a couple of quick things. Today at church the minister talked about the need to "create the sacred" right here, right now. I so welcomed that message. Find what is deeply meaningful to yourself, and then go create it, even for a few minutes a day. We find our own bliss. But we must look and/or create it. Be fully present in our lives each moment of each day--that Buddhist teaching really resonates with me now. Don't live in the past, don't worry about the future. Pema Chodron's book When Things Fall Apart is really helping me right now. Wife hasn't said she wants a divorce, but won't talk about anything. I am living my life and detaching more and more emotionally. I have kept the door open for reconciliation for now, but as jamesjohn said on another thread the word "divorce" no longer scares me.
Went out and bought a new shower curtain. Funny how little things take on a new meaning at times like this. It's pretty. Time to give up my monastic life and surround myself with beauty. I'm done putting my life on hold for her. The door is still open for working on a new marriage; I'm not filing for divorce yet. When I moved out in June I took old scraps--dishes, comforter, etc. Now, when I move later in the week I'll be starting a new life. A more beautiful life. I've been slowly accumulating things to use when I move into the better apartment on Thursday. I've deliberately refrained from using them so far, so that the move will feel extra special.
By the way, I noticed this morning while at the house for a few minutes that wife has subscribed to Car and Driver magazine! If that's not a sign of MLC, I'm not sure what is!
