Unfortunately I didn't know the extent of the abuse...his mother wasn't involved directly...she was young and trusted the wrong relatives to watch her kids when she left an abusive H...these relatives took her kids...tried to adopt them all but could only get H's half brother because his father couldn't get custody of him...father was an alcoholic and sexual abuser (H's younger sister suffered the abuse of many males in the family and H was witness to this...they were both very young!)... When all this happened I still didn't know...it was only when he got really drunk that he disclosed things that happened...I talked with SIL about it and she didn't recall everything as she was so very young...but she believes it to be true... I wish I could say that all the people that harmed these 3 siblings were in jail...but unfortunately they weren't...father is dead...but other relatives are still around and who knows what they are doing...BIL still sees them as he was raised with them and they are his "family"... All of the siblings have been reunited with their mom, whom I found 13 years ago...she is a wonderful woman and has taken in her oldest son...he is a mess...been in prison, drug problems, and bad alcoholic...but who can blame him...SIL went through a drug addiction period and then rehab'd without a relapse...she is a wonderful person and is doing well...H...he didn't have his colapse until much later in life...and it was hard and fast...
I can't even imagine the suffering that these siblings endured...which is in part where a lot of my compassion comes from...I don't relieve him of responsibility in his actions but I can certainly understand how messed up he was inside and have a heart big enough to know that we all make mistakes...some bigger then others...and some because of things that have warped our own thinking...I know he has suffered...and still is at times...but you would never know by looking at him...he is the life of the party and a very likable guy...funny too...it breaks my heart to know what really happened to him as a child...I knew some...but not what I do now...and there is probably more that I don't know...but I don't pry...it is his HELL and I don't want to fan those flames...
Thank you Mickey for your words of compassion...Lin
