My mind is what kills me. I tell myself I will go dark and not call him for a few days and then things get quiet here I have taken care of our 5 kids they have asked a million questions about him and I start thinking about what he is doing, where he is, and does he think about us. The things I imagine are horrible.

Right now he is in the hospital and I know that they aren't together but I freak when my kids try to call the general line and it is busy because I sit and think he must be on the phone with her. It stinks. 30 patients in the psych ward and 2 phones and I am dumb enough to let my mind imagine he is on with her.

I have tried to start journaling today and it helps. By the time I have written it all down I look at it and realize I have a great imagination.

Hang in there. I wish I had some great advice but I have to tell you I have learned my mind is my own enemy.

M 32 H 39
SS 15, SD 12, S11, S9, D7, D6, D4
E/A 02/06 WAS 03/06 RH 05/06
On 07/07 told me he wants to leave again.
On 08/11/07 Walked out again.

People say "When God closes a door he opens a window." They forget to tell you "It is hell in the hallway!"