Laughing, I'm not surprised to hear that your son isn't speaking to you. Your xh is reliving his life through his son's eyes, therefore, he's manipulating your son's thoughts the same what that he was feeling when he was that age.
Now about the car parts, what the heck does that have to do w/a custody hearing? You are to provide a warm and loving home, food, clothing, shelter, medical and dental care. I've never heard of automobile parts being included in the mix.
All I can advise you to do is collect your data and sit patiently and quietly. The truth always drops in our laps when we do this. Sometimes we have to sit a bit and then go to battle and I think that if you sit a bit, the timing will be better. Your xh is waiting for you to strike now. Let him drop his guard for a bit. Let your son get a really good taste of what life is like living w/him. Yep, no really good home cooking, mom won't be there to listen and bail him out of his troubles and yes, his friends are in your town, not where he's living. Right now, it's a new adventure for your son, but I can promise you this, all of the promises of new things, new life and yes, his father being there for him will begin to grow dim as the days, months pass. Your son will become homesick and want to return home. But, it's not going to be for a while.
Laughing, you are a fantastic mother who would do everything that you can for your children, but this time, your youngest will need to learn on his own. I know that this isn't the way yuo wanted everything to go, but this is being done for a reason and you aren't being allowed to drive the bus. Keep your focus on the future, for I do think that everything will come to light by mid/late winter.
Take care of yourself and I hope your daughter is doing well.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
