I am the bad guy in our R, never mind H's affair. I am blamed for everything. For awhile I defended myself, then I stopped and just listened without speaking about it. If it gets too bad or disrespectful, I try to diffuse the situation or walk away. They are classic in rewriting history. When H first told me he was unhappy, he claimed it started 6 months ago, then the next time we spoke, it was a year ago, and so on and so on. Now he says he's been unhappy for years. News to me. You don't have to agree, just acknowledge their feelings, sometimes that is so hard.
