She is soooo very confused. Really, all you can do is step back and let her be confused and lost. We always want to try and fix things for them, to 'hurry' this painful process along. But really, we'll muddle it up even more. I am sorry she didn't receive your 'Happy Birthday' call well. My H is so unpredictable when it comes to day to day stuff. Try to take care of yourself, let her come to you. Polite, loving, detached....
I am so sorry for your pain. Crying is fine, it can actually help you get stronger.
