Oh, Breton - as I was catching up on your thread, I could detect a sadness in your posts over the last couple of days. I'm so sorry....
It does sound like he has been reading from the MLC textbook, although that doesn't make it any easier to hear.
Read over your last couple of posts - you say that he doesn't look happy. My feeling is that when he is saying that he is now happy, it is to get to you. Much in the same way that he says he is going for custody (of the child that he had reservations about having). My guess is that you know your H pretty well and can tell when he is happy and when he is not.
It is so hard when they are confronting us. You have to try and detach, and remember the right things to say, and, above all, remain calm like none of what he is saying bothers you. But you are human and you have to give yourself a little break here.....
I think we are at similar spots in this thing....Michele says to look for a sign. Like you, I have nothing.
Why are we doing this? If you mean DBing - you are doing it for you. The more I think about certain parts of the book, the more I think it is more of a self help book than a marriage saving book. It tells you to detach - which is healthy for you. It tells you to get a life, which is healthy for you. Try to stop thinking that you are doing this to save your marriage. Think about it for you.
If you don't think you handled it well, learn from it for next time. But don't dwell on it. Don't beat yourself up over it. That will not help you at all.
My H got angry at me a week and a half ago and still seems that way when I see him. I do not let it affect me. I smile, say good morning, etc. I can either allow him to impact my how I feel or I can decide for myself. It isn't easy, but I truly believe that his mood is his issue and, therefore, he should have to deal with it.
Honey - I'm sorry that you are having a rough time right now. I know it is hard, but try to focus on you and your daughter right now. And stand firm about separate L's....what could they be thinking?
