A glorious good morning to all...h did come and watch movie..we made homemade paizza..had wine..I did not light the cadles..have to go slow!!!..I did not have any r talk...son was in and out of the house. H did call before he came and asked if he could bring his laundry..I said of course, you don't have to ask..he said if I was doing some, then he wouldn't. He thanked me for pizza and "laundramat". So...he seems comfortable..We sat on couch..but not right next to each other...is he afraid to touch me, just a hug? OR maybe he truly has no feelings left for me..OR...I need to continue to be patient, as h does not know what he feels right now. Boy I asked and answered my own questions..again.
I think you did a great job, I think you scored a Win last night. You did everything right, no R talk, you were friendly and you acted as if everything is A-OK. Remember, the aliens don't want us in their personal space right now, or they wouldn't be aliens, keep your distance physically, he can do nothing but respect you for that. Well done, keep it up.
Hope you enjoyed your Easter day, Sue. I'm so glad you two spent a nice evening together. You are so fortunate to be able to have contact like that.
Keep doing what works, find more to build on what is working ... What would you think would happen if next time you slid over on the couch next to him and held onto his arm and just smiled at him? If you catch him smiling back, maybe lay your head on his shoulder to watch the movie.
Oh boy KAW...I get cold feet just thinking about doing that!!! It's not that I am "cold" person when it comes to being intimate or maybe that is not the right word I am looking for.. I guess for over a year any advances I made I was rejected alot of them..and I am scared of that again...I am not a touchy, feely, huggy kind of person, and h was..but after 24 years I grew to like it and the past year I waited for him to make the first move...which became less and less.
Easter was good..went to h family..I sat there and thought how great it was to be in a family that cares.. and does not judge things the same way my sisters have...I got a sad feeling that I may very well lose them(the in-laws).I mentioned that I needed something fixed on water softener and h did it when he dropped me off...I used to have to ask a million times to get him to do something..and then end up doing it myself.I think I need to be more needy on litle things like that..I usually tackle any kind of repair thing I can..h was a good teacher. But h maybe felt like I really did not need him.
Quote: I am not a touchy, feely, huggy kind of person, and h was..but after 24 years I grew to like it and the past year I waited for him to make the first move...which became less and less.
I find this very similar to my situation. My W is NOT a touchy-feely kind of person, but I am (it's a "love language"). Over the years I believe she has come to like the attention, but will not show me very much attention in that regard. This has become a point of contention with me because it is something I really crave. My point? Maybe for you and your H, it might benefit you to try and make these advances again. Perhaps he's now in a place where he won't reject you, as it does seem like he's coming around a bit. Again, it's more of that probing we have to do to see what works...
Thanks for post, Dotty...I think I have read some of those books you mentioned...it is so helpful to read about different things to do and try..wish h would find a book that would help him. I do think he has been studying the bible and other books for his training stuff at church..you would think that might do something for him!! Oh well..sorry not too much different with your h..how are attorney things going?
jethro..it sounds so easy..but it is like trying to ride a bike for the first time...SCARED to make the first move... I am keeping my eyes and mind open to the little things that are occurring, and to most they are so tiny, but as we all know around here..they are giant steps.
Not alot new..worked church dinner with h last night..stood next to him and scooped green beans with 2 spoons and I said how it was kinda hard to get ahold of beans with the spoons.. a lady coming through the line who did not know us..said something about me doing just fine and h said, yes she is doing a good job! Never has really ever complimented me.. and for beans..very nice. Also, when I got home son said there was a mouse in kitchen and I nearly freaked..the thought of them makes me sick..I can handle bugs, bees..but mice....anyway called h, as he was taking his mom to dr in the morning and I asked if he would get some traps and set them..he did(we caught one tonight while we were gone..made son scoop it up, while I stood outside..sorry they really bother me). Can't remember if I posted that I had asked h earlier this weeek if he could help me get ready for video club sat night..never thinking he would..he called me and asked what time I would want him to come over tomorrow and hel..I told him amytime..now I have to not do everything ahead of time(as I have always done all myself)and let him help, and let him know how much I really appreciated it. Should I let him fix dinner or vacumn??!!!
So..seems like he is slowly coming around...I do call him a few times a week...but I don't sense it is driving him away.
