Steph.....your post made me think...I am afraid things might go on like "this" indefinetly...I need more...I need to be loved, held, touched...appreciated..wanted as a partner and friend in marriage.Yet the healing or space needed has only been 5 months. I have to understand that it can't all be fixed in such a short time. I will continue to do the things that make me feel good..and yes I would do all these things for a friend...thing is maybe I did too much and that is what crowded h. He is enjoying his freedom with activities with our church and his work group...he can come and go as he pleases..if he comes back will I let him do these things that I did not for many years..but will he realize that I need him too?? Guess I should not keep wondering "what if he comes back". Take each day and be thankful for what I have..and deal with the rest as it happens.
I will not call him...when he calls it is never to just say hi..and that's ok..thing is he has NEVER been the one to make the first move..so I have to realize that that is not going to change and accept it. The image of the romantic husband sending roses or giving diamonds for gifts is something I had dreamed of the first few years, then I looked close at what I really had..and I knew those things were not what I really wanted or needed(I do love flowers though..not roses...)
