Quoting hoping: BUT he is not like that...we talk without the tension that was there..his mother is including me for Easter dinner...so does it mean there's hope?? If he would just tell me" I think our m is worth saving.." then I could continue to give him the time and space he needs..no pressure..
I know exactly what you are going trough! My wife and her family included ME into their Chrsitmas plans...and I really enjoyed it, and started wondering if we were actually getting somewhere...but, to tell you the truth, that could have kept going on for ever...I am the one who has had enough now, not my wife. I could no longer keep up the "mind games" that were going on: seperated, not together, but still very much involved with each other! I am the one that gave up...not her. So if YOU feel there is still hope...PLEASE keep up the good work!
Quote: Steph suggests changing my expectations..my perspective..help me out with some ideas for doing that, as I am at a lost.
Well, that's a tough one...I would say DONT CALL...not once, not twice...wait till he calls! And about his asking how you are doing...I still ask my wife and she rarely asks me...I have just sort of given up on her asking me. That is NO reason for me to stop being nice enough with her to ask! I take the high road on this one...I am still the one to ask how things are, to offer help when it is needed, to be there for my daughter and her mother. Simply put...I am doing everything I used to do but now, I have NO expectations of us EVER getting back together, I do it because it is who I am: a caring, loving, motherly (even as a father, husband, ex-husband, son, teacher) person. I used to do it because I thought it would endear me to her, that she would start thinking about an "US". I have stopped thinking that way ONLY because I have lost my patience. But I do feel better, happier, less weighted down than I have in over two years! . BECAUSE I have no expectations!) But I have thought about it lately: I have many women frineds who are nice, dear, helpfull, caring, motherly, attractive etc.. Yet they do NOT attract me in a "romantic" way! That is the way my wife feels...can I really change that? I dont know, and I am beyond the point of actually trying to find out anymore! It sounds sad to many people her on this BB, but it is actually a very good feeling...liberating! OF COURSE, I would have prefered to save my marriage..and yes I do think this BB and Michele's books gave me a fighting chance, but they also taught me that only I could make myself happy!
If you do things with the hope that it will bring back your husband's love, his feelings for you. That is where your perspective is way off! Do things (even if it is what you are doing now) because it is who you are and because you would do it for any good friend!
But I do feel better, happier, less weighted down than I have in over two years! 
. BECAUSE I have no expectations!) But I have thought about it lately: I have many women frineds who are nice, dear, helpfull, caring, motherly, attractive etc.. Yet they do NOT attract me in a "romantic" way! That is the way my wife feels...can I really change that? I dont know, and I am beyond the point of actually trying to find out anymore! It sounds sad to many people her on this BB, but it is actually a very good feeling...liberating! OF COURSE, I would have prefered to save my marriage..and yes I do think this BB and Michele's books gave me a fighting chance, but they also taught me that only I could make myself happy!