Forrest Gump and his box of choclates.

[littlebitlost]

leaving will be the death sentence

Forrest

I am sorry to hear what has happened. It really sucks and there is no other way to describe it. (save for inserting curse words) I do want to say that the best thing that aaron and I ever did was to physically seperate. Keep in mind I am saying ti was the best thing for 'us' and not anyone else... i want to point some things out in terms of why.

The way I left was not good. Soem of the things I said when I left were not good but the leaving in itself was. It gave us each the space and time we needed to truly figure out who we were. It also allowed me to look from the outside with out all of the things I had to appreciate what I no longer had. For example: the comfort of sleeping i9n someones arms and having athat comfort (though we had not slept in the same bed for months) I missed coming home and having someone to talkto abou tmy day (even though again we had not REALLY talked in months) I missed my house, I missed knowing he was 'there'. In the time I have been gone He has become an entirely different person. I really notice the changes as I wasnt THERE seeing them gradually happen but they just became. The things I have seen are the things he wanted me to see. I wasnt there to see the breakdown, the anger, the frustration. What I say was bright and shiny and lovingly indifferent. It has a strange effect on one to see that the other person can go on and be happy, a diffrent person, even when you aren't there for them. That strength and positivity is a magnet. I have gradually been drawn back to him because of the things I see...the 'glimpses'.

I will note that because I wanted us to seperate...in my situation I chose to be the one to get my own place. That is the hard part, who stays in the house. Do you ever act like you have let go....that this other person (the text thing) does not affect you? that you will no longer allow it to affect yuo. You need to be more appealing than this other person. He probably doesnt pressure her or back her into a corner (which you may not be doing but she may still feel you are) he probably olistens to her and acts interested (even if he isnt) This will all wear off. New relationships, even friendships are great at the start and then the move into a different mode and become comfortable and old. You have a leg up though. You are her husband and the father of your children. Sometimes you have to lose something to realize how much you really appreciate and want it.

All of this comes from the heart of one who has been there and one who has been affected by all the principals of thewse boards that were utilized by a LBS.

You probably dont need this but (((((((((((((forrest)))))))))))