You've got two young kids. Your D6 is just about at the age when Halloween begins to become a big deal. S2, not so much just yet. How you handle Halloween is to make it ALL about you D6. Focus on her 100%,and make sure SHE remembers Halloween as the most fun she's had in a while. Get those pumpkins carved with the candles in it! So you don't give out candy this year....there will be next year. Take your kids out and let them have fun.
It's weird. Before I was brought on active duty last January, I was separated from my W. AND KIDS for 4 months, living 5 miles away from a 600K house in a guy's garage apartment without a stove! My solice and the center of my universe was my kids and especially my S8, who would spend all weekend with me. I love him to death. I love my daughters dearly too, but he always wanted to be with me, and kept me from the most horrible of depressions. Focus on your kids.
mk, I wonder about trick or treating, too. when I orginally divided out holidays, I had halloween (yeah, i divided out everything of note, lol). I think this year, if H wants to come over, I'm going to be cool with it. if not, I'm sure one or both grandmas will want to come like they did last year, and they will stay behind and hand out candy while I take the kids trick out treating.
if that isn't an option, can you leave a bowl of candy out on a table by your front door for while you are gone? we don't make all that many stops at this point, since the kids are so young. a good 10 or 15 houses and mine are pooped, so if the grandmas/h don't come, that's my back up plan.
as for holding on to our old spouses, yep, that would be me.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
MK, I would just make your plans and not even worry about what your H wants to do. He may or may not bring it up. If he does want to do something, then deal with it. If not, just do what you want to do with the kids. A Halloween party would be a fun first, btw, if you feel up to it. Morgan's plan for candy sounds good.
Here's the thing, MK. Remember a few weeks back when you had those two wonderful days in a row? What was different then? What can you harness about that week to keep you going? Your H is going to continue being an idiot for now. It's up to you whether you let his behavior ruin your day. I'm not saying you have to kick him out of your life, just don't let his actions affect your sanity. Let him go, but don't lock him out. Does that make sense?
I'm looking forward to Halloween too. H never cared for it, but he used to be willing to participate. One year, S9 was a gingerbread man, H was an elf, and I was the Sugarplum Fairy. That was fun (pre S2).
Me29 H33 D9 months S2 S9(previous R) Sep 8-19-07 I file 11-5-07 H home (Retro) 2-15-08 "Today is the tomorrow of yesterday." -- S9
Thank you soo much! I feel that I cannow reclaim Tori, too. U2 is next, then finally, and maybe when I am strong enough, the biggy, the Beatles. Just liek I can't imagine my life without my H, I can't imagine my life without the Beatles. They both help shape the freak I am today.
FLTC, Thank you for showing me the prespective from the Dad's POV. I have to remind myself how much my H is truly suffering. It must be so awful to lose a home and the daily contact. But you did nothing wrong-wrong.
Although my H chose to have an affair and lie, I think he is doing so out of desperation. Sounds sick, but kind of like an abortion. NO ONE wants that, they just get desperate and think it will save their future but it is a horrible experience. I really do not glamorize affairs, I think of it as a heroine binge gone wrong. Now the repurcussions are pretty bad.
Or maybe he is just having a fun vacation?? Who knows??
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I know this place is anonymous but I wish I could get a pic of everyone at the Boston meet? I can totally picture evrybody and their spouses in my head. Isn't that funny. Escept you neph, I thought you were black because of your name!!! Egyptian!!!
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
lol, mk, I'll bring my camera and if people there don't mind, will post pics. I know they did at the last meet. curious to know what you think I look like...I suppose I've said it all here at one time or another. blonde. pale. short. big butt. lol.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
oh no, I'm not exaggerating. lol. in fact, I think I knew h and I were made for each other because he loves what i have fought against most of my life. lol.
yep, blonde. althoug my family has been here in america for generations upon generations, I'm pretty much descended from anything in europe north and pale(england/ireland/scotland/norway/germany)...classic mutt
Last edited by morgan; 10/06/0709:44 PM.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
LOl, my H was also a butt man. I think I lost mine after catching that Infidelity Flu. I miss my J.Lo. Pants just hang on me now. Not cute.
Yep, that is how I pictured you, fer sure! We are almost the same age so I figured we went through the same hair phases in life!!
Have a great time!
Neph, I would love to party on the West side!! It is funny. People at my work are majority going through a divorce but rarely are they DBers. I use my DB philosophy at the bar and people really need to hear it! These men actually appreciate it when I tell them to go back home to their wives and try to rekindle their love. I tell them that a sex starved marriage can be healed with patience and fun. Some of these guys get a big smile, they know what I am talkin' bout. I know it is not that simple, but I am happy to be that lone bartender that says , "Go HOME to your wife and win her back!!!" No one really wants to be in a bar meat market. Compared to being at home with a meal and a video and the kids in bed? That would be heaven to me.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
