There and Back, #8

[nephartiti]

If you ladies are going to sink, pretend it's a hot tub and set a time limit so you don't boil or turn into prunes.

I hate not being invited too. I miss going to Riverside and seeing everyone. I feel like half my family died because they are just off limits to me.

Don't take H seriously. It probably had nothing to do with you. He was probably just having a bad day too. Maybe OW is PMSing and giving him a hard time Yeah, that's it.

(((HUGS))) Morgan. I hope you feel better soon.

[nephartiti]

Hi Morgan. I'm giving everyone Tori quotes today

"uh oh. let go. off on my way
unseen this eternal wanting
let go. way to go
so I get creamed
waiting on Sunday to drown
waiting on Sunday to drown

and I know it's just a spring haze
but I don't much like the look of it
but all we do is circle it
and I found out where my edge is
and it bleeds into where you resist
and my only way out is to go
so far in..." (Spring Haze)

The last two lines are my favorite part. Sometimes the only way out of our inner turmoil is to go into the heart of it. Only then can true transformation occur.

Love and Light, Morgan. Peace be with you.

[mkultra]

Loving the tori quotes!

Morgan,
Everytime I start to sob, usually in the car???, my kids start to tell me to stop. Please, stop crying , Mommy. You will make us cry,too!" So, I finally told them that crying just makes Mommy's heart feel better. I hold back tears a lot so maybe that is why I cry in the car, privacy, music, memories, no copilot? But it just feels so much better than crying in my pillow or while watching TV.

You have every right to feel sad. It is sad. Maybe it will make sense later, but the saddest thing is that it just feels like a mistake that we can see but we cannot fix. I keep remmebering how my older friend who is getting married explained that sometimes people just grow apart. I hang on to that to make sense of it all. People who should have grown together grew apart. Yes. That makes sense.

[SallyM]

thanks, neph!

omg, mk, that broke my heart. I haven't cried in front of the kids in a long time, but there was a time early on that I couldn't help it...usually in the car, too. I talked to my friend about it and she told me I could use it to help them develop empathy. not something you want to do often, the crying in front of them, of course, but if there is a moment it can't be helped, it can be made better.

quickly, I have to tell you all...just took myself to see The Jane Austen Book Club. omg, I haven't loved a movie so much in a long time. mk, I thought of you, because we've talked pride and prejudice before (okay, we've talked colin firth before, but in context, lol). omg. I wish you all lived near and we could form our own book club. I loved it. I bawled my eyes out in parts of it, but I loved it. run, don't walk, to see it, if you have any interest. I don't want to give anything away, but it was just good. not saying it was genius, just saying I, personally, loved it. it was the perfect movie for me right now.

okay, off to my hammock with a book. I need to enjoy this beautiful day before its over, because tomorrow the rain and the cold is headed out way. its 80 degrees here today, folks. probably the last time till next year. off I go! will chat more later. hope you all are doing okay.

[SallyM]

donna and lwb, I missed you guys on my response right now. thank you so much! donna, fingers crossed on a last minute deal.

lwb, thank god your H realized this was an occasion you would want to be at. I was about to drive to logan to get on the next flight to st. louis to kick his ass.

next time, though, don't be afraid to tell him you want to be there for that. I'd hate for you to miss something like that. or maybe its just sentimental me.

not sinking anymore. the movie helped a ton. it did. going to enjoy the rest of my day, hope you all do too!

[nephartiti]

Yipee for movies! Glad your day turned around.

The car is my number one crying spot too. I think I think too much there, especially consiering I should be watching the road!

[LL44]

H cut my D5's bangs, for the very first time, while I was at work. I think he learned from that experience that I might want to be there for the 'milestones'. But thanks for the back up, I'm sure he'll mess up again soon. I would love to pick you up at the airport.

Glad you got out and saw a good movie and hope the hammock and book treated you well.

[SallyM]

hey all

lazy, rainy morning here. just having a hard time motivating beyond a shower...haven't even gone out to the driveway to get the paper. have been lazing around watching gilmore girls instead. lol. and yeah, that means I skipped the gym all weekend. bad morgan. ahhh, well, it will be there tomorrow and I will give it a bit extra to make up for the laziness. I swear I really am heading into hibernation mode.

when I talked to H yesterday he said he might stay here and watch the game with the kids today. not sure how I feel about that. part of me feels like I'll just be on pins and needles/won't be able to relax, and will end up annoyed because I feel like I have to be "on" when he's here. and part of me feels like hey, stop being "on", just relax, maybe a chance to remind him what life could be like, just in case he's leaning that way again. which I don't think he really is. he sounded sort of iffy about it anyway. guessing ow has her son for the day and H likes our tv better for game watching...really, I read way too much into things. lol.

I wish you all had been with me watching that movie yesterday, because there is a lot about it I want to discuss. I swear it was made for us on this board. I liked it so much that I think I'm going to go see it again. wish I could go today, but really can't (plus I'd like to watch the game, anyway). next weekend is the db meet. hmm...suppose I could go to a late one after meeting up with the guys on friday night. not sure watching it hopped up on margaritas is smart, though, lol. I'll end up yelling things at the screen.

will figure it out, but definitely will see it again. not too many movies I say that about.

hope everyone is having a good sunday.

[LL44]

Let morgan relax this weekend. That means yes, skipping the gym, and enjoying the time if H comes around. Pins and needles are expected, but try to dismiss them for today. See what it brings. I can imagine none of us want to be in the position that our H's aren't comfortable in the house, that it might make them run even more.

LOL at reading into things, I am the QUEEN of that.

Have a nice Sunday, my dear.

[SallyM]

oh my freaking god, I'm already irriated and he isn't even here. lol.

he has called 2x in the last 10 minutes. the first because he was at target and was asking me what sizes I thought they would be in halloween costumes. now, I had told him he was welcome to do this with them, because I feel bad about how much stuff he misses out on. I'm trying to let go here...let go of the fact that dammit, I want to be there picking out their costumes. and I haven't seen the ones at target, are they cute? are they as cute as the ones here and there that I have seen? but I'm not saying any of that, because I'm letting him have this moment with them.

but then he has to call back to ask more about sizes, and about how big the costumes look, and can they be dummied up/safety pinned to look like they fit. I have no freaking idea, H, I'm not there. no, I did not say it like that, just said to try it on them and see if he thought they could. and I can hear him getting irritated with me because I can't just tell him yeah, they can be, because I can't see them.

ugh.

now, I did manage to sound light and airy and told him to grab a box of safety pins and we'd figure it out, but what I really want to do is take the phone and hit him over the head with it. repeatedly.