The role of the OP in MLC

[Nutty Chick]

If we are grounded, we realise that falling in love is not going to solve our problems, but if we are in considerable distress, and looking for help, then there is a tendency to blame the spouse, and assume that it will be better with a new person, so in one sense the MLCer is 'lookingl' for someone to fall in love with.

Falling in love also helps to deal with depression, and is a wonderful distraction. But the particular person they choose is a good 'fit' for their psychological and physical needs at the time. We don’t have to like the OP – they may be very like us or very different, but our spouses have to act out and work through their issues with that person. We will not do. I do believe that many of them choose someone damaged for a whole raft of subconscious reasons, but that is just MO.

My H is convinced the I make him unhappy therefore he gambles. In his strange logic OW makes him happy and so he does not feel the desire to gamble.

I spoke to his mum who told me that he has had a gambling problem since he was 15. So it can't be me as he did it years before meeting me.

My H tells me he has not gambled since being with OW (2 monthes now) My son tells me that my H plays the slot machines when he takes him out.

My H OW does not appear to be broken or damaged. She seems like a good person. she is a nurse, she has a teenage daughter...she has been married 3 times. (Ok so maybe that isn't so good)

My H is looking for someone to blame for his problems and is looking for someone to fix him. He has both now; and yet... he doesn't seem happy.



Nutty Chick.