Still standing...

[theotherhalf]

Went to work yesterday and when I got to town the OW(B***h) was at the gas station.(I really really think something is up that she now all of a sudden is out in the open so much). Me being me, I HAD to go to the gas station. When I walked into the door she glared at me as if to say "F**k Y**! I just stared back with a smile. I stood behind her at the counter for about 5 min. (seemed like forever) I was so proud of myself.

I will not hide from this woman. I will not, not go into a place because she is there. I have done NOTHING wrong (and this is the truth not like her saying that she hasn't). My H has still not filed for D and we are still sleeping together on occasion (Almost weekly) I will hold my head up and go on and be okay.If H decides to end our M and be with this wh*re than it is what it is, but I will be okay. I will not let her control my life in any other way.

I and friends think that one of 2 things are going on.

1) That they are no longer seeing each other and she is trying to bait me into doing something to her to draw him back to her.

2) That together they are trying to get me to do something to her to get me into trouble.

For what ever reason this skank has come out of hiding it really makes no difference. I will under NO circumstances do something that would most definately end my chances of getting my H back. The ONLY reason that I am concerned about this b***h at all is because I do not know if they are still seeing each other or not. If they are then there really is no point in doing what I've been doing with H until it is over with her. If they are done then it will be okay.

I wish that I could find out for sure. Then I would better know where I stand and I could forget about this b***h!

H's brother and sister think that it is over between them, I really don't know. A few signs lead me to maybe believe them. First of all when H seen this OW before, after it was over, when she would run into me she would always just Glare at me. Like she did yesterday. (Like I'm the one that done her wrong!) Also I have heard that this woman is a neat freak, H house at first was pretty spotless, almost like a womans touch around the place. Last couple times I've been there it was pretty bachlor like (real messy last night). Also H has been leaving his phone out in the open and on when he is around me or I am at his house. Before it was hidden and off.

But there are signs that maybe still going on. Could be my own thoughts running away with me. H and OW are off work Wed and Thurs. nights. If I see him on the morn after those nights he looks horid and real tired. Like he's been up all night. If he goes to brothers house or some where he usually goes "home" early like before 10 pm. 3 weeks ago (last time I checked his phone)H had his alarm set for 1:30 am. And yesterday morning was it just a coincidence that she was out and about at 7:20 am and that is the time that H showed up at our place. Usually doesn't come around till after 9 or 10 am.

Sorry all I guess I'm just venting. Trying to get these thought out and off my brain. I really wish I just knew for sure....