Yes, I am certainly petrified as well. It's gone on so long and there have been so many lies and secrets that I do wonder if we can ever recover. But, you are right.. there are no guarantees in life anyway.
I certainly have had many breakdowns lately but I've also had these immensely calm moments. It's weird and I can't really explain it. And, I do believe that H feels crappier right now than I do. I've stayed and tried. Even if it's to no avail, at least I tried and didn't jeopardize my integrity.
Even more than the actual cheating, it's the dishonesty that gets to me. I'm one of those people that is probably honest to a fault.
