He's still very confused. He's still living in the fog. He has to get away from OW or there's no hope.
I would agree that he is very confused. More so now that ow is divorced and that is changing the dynamics of the A. But, I also believe that he is somewhat coming out of the fog and that is the reason for his deep depression, self-loathing, etc. There are some other "self-discovery" comments coming from him that show he is starting to take at least some responsibility for this situation.
As for me, I don't write much about what I do but believe it or not, I don't obsess all day every day about this any longer. My career is going great and I am challenged there on a daily basis. I am running and attending yoga classes and many days acting as if H is not in my life. I am going out West with some friends for my birthday and can't wait.
Yes, we still go out as a family and on fun dates. Yes, we still live in the same house and sleep in the same bed.
I think the biggest difference in the past couple of weeks is that I have challenged him on some stuff having to do with the A and he's come clean instead of covering it up. I asked him point blank if he wanted a D. I also told him that we can't go on like this. The A has been going on for a year... I've known about it since January. Basically, sh!t or get off teh pot. I didn't give him a "deadline" so to speak but I know he gets it.. He is petrified he will make the wrong decision.
ROOT - I am doing exactly what you said. Just asking questions and listening and not judging. That seems to be helping him at least tell me the truth.
