Whoa..I almost slipped to pg 3..yikes..nothing new to report..but I always feel better after journeling..I think my pms is setting in, as I had an overwhelming feeling of saddness set in that maybe h and I just are not meant for each other..I have not talked to him since Friday...and then I thought if he were to call me..what would we really have to say to each other..maybe I really don' t know how to act in a h/w-m/f relationship..oh I can do more than my share of "talking"..I am not at a loss in a group of friends..but because the past year has been so iffy and tense.I can't remember ever just hanging out with h and talking..it scares me.
I then try to assure myself that h is still finding himself..but I am so lonely for him and have I been fooling myself on this strong person I feel like I have become? So many things I am questioning..oh boy..I need to get grip.I know the only way to find out what's going on with him is to ask..and that horrible fear is there..plus this would not be the best week..so I journal..listen to your kind support that I get and continue to be patient.
