Separated, Divorced and Single!

[built4speed]

So, a weird twist of events. W is going camping this weekend with the one asset we agreed to split, the pop-up camper. Kids were expected to go along, but for various reasons, they are all staying home with me (it was my weekend anyway). So I agreed to help W get the camper from the storage place and move it to her house. Long story short, I did a bunch of stuff for her, and she was very grateful. She invited me in for dinner since it was late. And she asked if she could give me a hug. I said okay, I guess. As she's hugging me she says that if I want, she's really lonely and needs to be touched and would I like to go upstairs and lock the door?!!!

So, for three years, after trying everything possible so salvage our relationship, and she totally shut me down in every way, now I get this. I just said maybe another time, and went to eat dinner.

Of course, my C had a field day with this one. He's like, so after she has basically drop kicked my entire life, she thinks that I will relieve her loneliness! How small would I feel after what she's done, that I give her everything she wants and I get nothing.

She had called me a week or so ago, complaining that this whole D thing isn't working out quite like she hoped. She's lonely, tired, missing her kids when they are with me, cash is tight, and she not too happy about life. I hear from friends that see her and say she looks very unhappy all the time. After we ate, she said she misses our intimate talks. We'd talk about everything, mostly our kids, but everything else too. You know, about life stuff. Sometimes she calls to try to do that now and I really don't stay on the phone for those talks. I'm not her husband any more. I need to find someone who want to be with me, not just have her loneliness relieved.

Notice she didn't say she wanted to be with me, she said she was lonely. That was my clue that I shouldn't do it. I need to connect with someone who really wants to be with me, and after the destruction she has wrought on my life, she is not a candidate for the job.

She isn't going to magically wake up some morning and be crazy about me. She isn't going to all of a sudden be able to forgive me for anything. She isn't going to be able to trust. She isn't going to be able to let stuff go, like you need to in a M. So, what the heck is she thinking???

Lonely my butt. How the heck did she think divorce was going to feel???