Hi, I need your support, guys! My H and I are currently living together. He has been in an A for over a year. I found out the end of May. He has not ended contact with her. He has ended sexual relations with her, but still sees her, talks to her. Since then, I have faced my problems (sexual inhibition). I knew we had a problem but like many of us here, I just didn't know what to do. I felt like had a wall around me and could not break out. You can read more about this in my past posts.
Like I said we are still together. We have been doing very well together ... talking, being intimate, etc. We have talked about our problems to a great extent. I know he is very confused. The OW is putting quite a lot of pressure on him. I have not. Last week he wanted to know what I would do if he moved out. But we didn't talk about too much about it.
Well tonight he brought it up again. I was trying not to freak out. Even though I have not pressured him, my frame of mind has been that as long as he was here, I had the upper hand. On the other, it's been hard as hell living with her in our lives.
Tonight he mentioned several phone calls from her during the day ... she wanted to see him tonight. He told her no, that he was going home. He said it got ugly. So we talked a bit more, then he brought up the same question, "So what would you do if I moved out?"
My mind was reeling. I finally responded by saying, it depends on the circumstances on which you go. If you want to move out to clear your head, that's one thing ... but if you want to move out to live with her, that's another. He said he understood. I also said if he wanted to be with her, I may not be here if he changes his mind.
So, he is still thinking about it. I have been encouraging him to talk to a counselor. The one I am seeing really makes you think. Tonight I asked him to talk to this guy, he said he would. That was it. He had a long day and went to bed. We did hug and kiss before he went up.
I have read DB and have been applying some of the principles.
