Actually the sadness about the kids is worse before the D, because after you see that they will survive, adapt, move on. Mine are actually doing so well, I can hardly believe it. Grades are staying up, we are talking about vacations together next year, the holidays coming up, etc. In some ways they have handled this better than I have. They play and have fun in my new house, rough house and screw around just like normal. Even in the quiet times they are not really sad anymore. They do wish their mother wasn't such a, well, how she is, but they know they can't change her.
Reminds me of a story of a guy in NYC riding the subway home sitting next to a sad looking dad who had several kids just running and screaming out of control in the subway car. The guy says to the dad something like, why are you letting your kids act that way and bother everyone in the car. The dad says well, we are going home from the hospital where their mother just passed away, and the way they are acting doesn't strike me as all that bad after what they just went through.
The kids will do better than you think.
built4speed My Saga "How others deal with the gifts you've given is not your decision, but theirs." - Richard Bach
