Thought I would start a new post..old one filling up..As the title sayd we really are not moving in either direction..I guess small things have occured that are positive..but h not really making any of the effort to change anything..no calls for talks or time alone together. I did get the Gary Chapman book"Hope for the Seperated" very good book..not quite through with it.What else is there to do to move things along..to get a feel of what h is thinking, or should I leave well enough alone? Sue
Quote: What else is there to do to move things along..to get a feel of what h is thinking, or should I leave well enough alone?
what is working?? leaving well enough alone..is one way to put it...working on you and going grey...detatching...are yet other ways to put it.
I know it's not easy not knowing...
all you can do now is focus on you...doing things you enjoy..making yourself and your life full...finding your own peace...let h figure out whatever it is he needs to figure out...
there may come a time when you feel you need to talk to him..and honestly sometimes r talk is ok...not always productive but ok.
hey if your bored and want to see what a truly fun ride I've had...all my old threads are linked on my new one...check it out...you may get a glimpse of why I am so distraught with the way things are progressing.
Not much to say..h called last night wondering where I was as I was going to church to help set up some Lent stuff..d told him I had just left..today he took his mom to a clinic in Wisc..for breathing problems and I left a message on his phone wondering how things went..and he called me back to tell me..so those are little things. I keep telling myself that the new h would probably not call me if he really wanted to get me out of his life..the old h would just because that is what he would think he should do..since he has become more assertive, he says and does things because he really wants to, not out of obligation..and that's good. Sue
Quote: he says and does things because he really wants to, not out of obligation..and that's good.
sue that's better than good..that's excellent!!!
now why did he call looking for you??? just because or was there an excuse...either way..now you know he called because he wanted to and not because he felt obligated to.
it takes a long time for things to turn...reading back over my old threads..all the little things I took as meaning nothing started months before h ever opened his mouth about confusion as to his direction.
try and relax and do for you...progress is slow...but honestly slow and steady wins the race anyhow!!
Quoting hoping: I guess small things have occured that are positive..but h not really making any of the effort to change anything..no calls for talks or time alone together...What else is there to do to move things along..
I know the may my sitch ended is NOT the way you are hoping yours does...but I must now say...live your life for YOU alone..if he comes back...great, if not...be happy!
set a bird free, if it flies away, it was never ment to be, if it stays in your hand...it was...that's the idea!
Thanks for ALL the help in the past...dont think I'l be around much, but will check in once in a while.
MIl goes back next Wed. for more tests..h is taking her again..I guess the fact that he calls is good, just wish once it would be to ask me somewhere..movie..dinner..to his apartment!!!Am i sounding needy..I don't know if it is a physical wanting on my part or something that says he still has some interest and desire for me. It is my need to be wanted that I did not have as a child..oh well, I am not going to call him. Will just read or clean or whatever.. Sue
Not much new...did anyone else here that seperated go through this time of nothing? I guess h is working only on himself..not interested on working on m..maybe that is another clue that he has his mind made up not to. I did talk to him the other day about our car ins..we pay about 225.00 a month and I told him the company wanted to know if we wanted it taken directly out of account..I said I did not and he said "whatever you want since you're the one paying that right now". Now I could take that as in the future when we are back together then "we" will be paying it or...the negative me could take it to mean that right now I am and in the future he probably will..since he knows financially I won't be able to pay for all these things.I just keep living each day. Tomorrow night a few gals from work and I are going to the movie "Chicago"..I have not been to very many movies w/out h. It will be fun. Sue
I hope things get better for you. I understand about H being gone. My H also has said he does not feel obligated to do things but he still isn't here much.
Would you recommend the book by Chapman? If so I'll buy it. Also I heard that the book "Second Honeymoon" is very good. Maybe worth the investment.
You may want to check out the "Calling all WAS" on Hopefulness forum. I got a lot out of it.
HI.. Dotto..I have not been very good at e-mails..yes the book by Chapman is great..I have not read the Love Languages yet, but the one about seperation is great..so fitting to our sitch's.It does involve religion, so if anyone is not into that, so to speak, then you might not want to read it.He quotes so much from the bible and about God. Kelli..welcome, I am not sure I have "talked "with you before..are you new to piecing or just visiting from another post? Take care Sue
