I know W is just blowing smoke, but it doesn't hurt any less when she says it. I also don't doubt she'll make a play to bluff me legally if it comes down to it -- just as she originally tried to railroad me with her one-sided Separation Agreement the first week after the bomb (when she thought my shock and imbalance would make me more pliable). She knows the courts tend to favor the mother even in the face of her adultery. She also knows that a legal battle is going to hurt me more than her, even though neither of us can really afford it.
Basically, W is cake-eating and wants no semblance of guilt for it, so she has to make me out to be some absolute monster, to ease her conscience. I understand that. She claims she is a good mother and that she never says anything negative about me in front of our S's, but then she doesn't have to -- her actions speak louder than words (I know the IL's are not withholding their tongues.)
W is a good mother, for the most part. But she refuses to see what her actions are doing not only to me (for which she has no care) but to our S's (which she denies). She can admit no wrong -- except where she ever got involved with me in the first place. And in that she has proven to be an apt disciple of her mother.
While I expected some of this alien behavior, as it has been described over and over again by others, I just never realized to what depth my W would actually descend. I don't know what happened to the person I married; this is not her.
One thing W said to me yet again last evening. She said in passing that my neglect of her led her to contemplate suicide, and that a "loving husband" (which by her measure I am not) would never drive their W to such a dire position. After she said it, I thought to myself that she has already done that, committed "suicide". Perhaps the woman I knew and loved is now "dead". I don't know.
