I finally read your stich. I would like to say a couple of things, this is strictly my opinion of course
1. It took ALOT of guts and strenght to get yourself out of that whole situation. Be proud of yourself that you were able to find the strength to realize this. I truly think you did make the right choice for you and your kids. I know you will second guess yourself, but don't.
2. I think I have your personalty figured out. You want to help everyone around you and do the right thing, and especially for the ones you love....
Quote:
Do I have a right to fight for a man that has a baby on the way? Is that fair to her?
that says it right there. You are actually thinking what is fair to the OW. Wow, that takes a lot of character. Listen, she is not part of your decision in the least! She did not care that your H had 5 kids at home when she decided to have an affair with your H, she should in no way impact YOUR feelings or decision. You do what is best for YOU.
3. This one in important. Your H is mentally ill, YOU CAN NOT HELP HIM WITH THIS. Until he is ready to realize that he has serious problems, they will not go away. As much as you want to help him, you can't ( I have had some experience with my H and depression, I was always thinking I could help him get better, it wasn't until my theripist told me that no matter what I did, I could not because it is an illness, not just a feeling). He needs to address this with himself and get the help he really needs.
With alot of the questions you are asking, should I just move on? should I fight for him?
These are questions only you can answer, and trust me your answers will change for the next while at least. These are not easy things to answer. It will take time. You need to be patient, especially with yourself. You are going through so many things at once. Try to to answer everything today. For a while, it will be a day at a time, maybe even an hour at a time.
Don't know if this was of any help. My prayers are with you
