I KNOW I'M PARONOID BUT DOES IT SOUND LIKE SHE ONLY SEES ME AS A FRIEND NOW INSTEAD OF LOVER OR HUSBAND BASED ON EMAIL????
A strong friendship is the base upon which a good marriage is built on. Don't underestimate the value of that. If she feels comfortable talking to you and being with you she will have an easier time coming back to you. BTW, feelings for OM may take time to go away. It's like pulling out from a drug addiction. Sometimes it takes time and can be very difficult. You'll just need to be patient and.... be a great listener. Ask lots of impersonal questions... let her bring out what she feels comfortable with and let her talk.
Go read "Not 'Just Friends'" to help you understand the dynamics of this situation. Try to keep in mind there's a chance OM will string her along (like fishing... let go... pull back... let go a little). Sometimes these things take awhile to die. But her unhappiness and lonliness are very good signs.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
