I was almost a WAW (and still am-- in my heart?)

[Lillieperl]

I appreciate the need to rant from time to time--- so have at it with no apology necessary.

But the main reason why people are telling you that YOU need to do something is because you are HERE on this BB.

If your H were here on the BB he'd be getting the "this is what you need to do message."

That's the answer, plain and simple.

If cemar's W was here, hairdog's W, karen's H, GGB's W-- anyone's partner. If the other person were here S/HE would be getting a sh!tload of advice.

We don't usually say, "What your partner needs to do is--" because we mostly recognize that you can't make other people do things.

We pick on the poster because they're here to be picked on. Believe me, I'd love it if mrs hairdog would post! Have I ever got some advice for her (and karen's H and GGB's W)!

[sandi2]

I know you are right Lillieperl.

It is Friday morning at 5:30......I stayed away a long time, didn't I? (lol)

I looked back at what I said last night (and the night before) and I don't know why I came so unglued and I regret reacting so badly. DomR (my doc) wasn't my target, or any one person....(not even you, Forrest Gump if you read this). All of you have been good to me. I let some things that have been said (compiled)to others, more than was actually directed to me in particular, get my dandruff up and I wanted to lash out at the "attitudes" toward WAW's and as a result....I showed my bad attitude. Ironic! I realize that I allowed what was happening in my personal family life this week--plus what I've been reading from some posts make me angry and I exploded.

I had just finished telling a new person to the board that we do that from time to time but we keep supporting each other and I hope you all will do that for me. Allow me to act like an a$$ and then, hopefull, grow......some more (ugh).

But, you know, I've been saying that I have been spending too much time here every night instead of spending time with my H. In fact, I'm not so sure I haven't replaced one addiction with this new one. I haven't thought of it in that way until now, b/c I saw it as my therapy to come here every night, (since I couldn't find a DB C around my local area), and read and throw my two cents in from time to time. But, I see where I do need to back off some and spend more time in my own R. I think one of my problems is that when I get involved with something (even like this board), I spend too much of my time and energy on that particular thing whereas I need to figure out how to balance things in my life a lot better than I do so that I'm not the one neclecting my MR. As I've told you all before, I have been trying to fill a void in my life and heart for so many years that I realize I have developed this bad habit of doing just what I stated.....putting my time and energy into that "project" (or whatever to call it) at the time.

After I spilled my emotional puke last night, I then told a few new folks that I would get back with them Monday (b/c I didn't want them to feel forsaken)......I had a little "quality" time with my H and I think it was good.

I forgot to tell you all that I went to see my doctor yesterday and he did give me a prescription for AD meds. We are going to just try it for a short time to see how it affects me.

So now I'm crying and starting the day out emotional.......is that a good sign? (lol) I'll be back Monday and I hope you all have a good weekend. My other physical problems (allergy & sinus infection, etc.)is getting better and I'm real hopeful that this weekend will finally be one where I won't spend it laid up in a sick bed and can have some time with my H and love ones.

I wish you all well and love.

Sandi

[RealJourney]

Hi Sandi... You are right about this board being addicting, but the way I see it, at least it's a good addiction, and a gazillion times better than your convos with OW. Again, pats on the back for being able to let go of him...I know that took a lot of strength.

Have a nice weekend...sounds like you are feeling better...I hope you get some quality time in with yor H!

[RealJourney]

oops, I meant OM!

[OG_Lou]

Sandi, for future reference include a thread address if you refer to someone else on a different forum.

I was wondering what Forrest Gump said to Littlebitlost....and I blew another gasket. was about. Here is one link to a thread that includes recent Forrest Gump said to Littlebitlost posts.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#Post1221837
Maybe that was the wrong thread.

I try to not include other people's situations from other threads in my comments on the SSM forum if I have an issue with that other person.

If someone from another forum or web site has some good information I think might apply to a SSM poster and help him/her, I will list it here and include a link to what they said, so the SSM reader can look at the whole story on some other site or Internet page.

The above is just information for you to consider and was intended to be helpful to you and most of all to your readers.

I know you are right Lillieperl.
Lil is telling you how we operate and from a good faith/best intentions POV.

I wish your H would post some place so we could put a bug in his ear and suggest a few things to improve his relationship with you. Does he use the computer or e-mail? Would he do something like that?

I hope you have some good things come your way this weekend. Take care ((((Sandi))))

Lou

[Dom R]

After I spilled my emotional puke last night, I then told a few new folks that I would get back with them Monday (b/c I didn't want them to feel forsaken)......I had a little "quality" time with my H and I think it was good.

awww.. that's great
"it's all good" then ;-)

Sandi, your "outbursts" are some of the mildest I've seen, and you consistently have a positive, self-improving attitude on here. Dont beat yourself up about it so badly
I'm really happy that you had some positive time with your H... AND that you plan to focus a bit more on /him/, and a bit less on the boards. I think I need to scale back my time some, myself!

I forgot to tell you all that I went to see my doctor yesterday and he did give me a prescription for AD meds. We are going to just try it for a short time to see how it affects me.

a "short time"?

Hmm.

One of the reasons I never got onto antidepressants, when I was at my lowest point... was that the dr told me that once I was really on them, it would take me 3 months to taper off them.
maybe your proposed meds are different. but you might watch that.

Probably the ones i was going to go on, were significantly stronger than yours. I was a total mess at one point :-/
well.. make that 2 points. The week after she left... and about 6 months in, when I finally faced the reality that there was no chance of any speedy fix, and things were going to be bad for years, with no chance of a "sudden relevation" turnaround.

second time, was one of the worst things... yet it also helped me finally start detaching from the hurt. When I accepted what is.

Hmm. i should probably post that in.... i forget who was asking about detaching...

[Lillieperl]

What are you taking, sandi? Whatever it is, read about it on the internet and find out about the effects and side effects. A good place to do that is http://www.crazymeds.org. [NOTE THAT IT'S A DOT-ORG, NOT A DOT-COM.] DO become informed about the ad you're taking! Very important.

I do believe in ad's. I'm taking lexapro now and it has really helped with panic attacks that I've been prone to all my life. It CAN take a long time to come off of them, but that's just the way it is-- in the meantime they can vastly improve your quality of life.

And you DO need to stay on them for a while-- longer than a "short time." My psychiatrist said a year at least. OTOH, I took paxil for a while and didn't like it and got off in about six months (and it DID take me many weeks to taper off). If you decide you don't like the way you feel, DON'T stop taking it suddenly. There are plenty of message boards that talk about ad's. Make sure you're informed.

[RealJourney]

Lil, I just read that the SSRI's can cause bone loss, and that it's recommended to get a baseline bone density scan if you plan to be on them for a length of time.

You are right...the doctors recommend staying on an AD for a yr or more to prevent relapse, but somehow I can only last about 6 months. I was really excited about the Effexor ( a SNRI)...it seemed to help me as well as the SSRIs without the sexual side effects...alas, I started having O trouble with this one too.

[Lillieperl]

I did just have a bone density scan, and I passed with flying colors. I'll keep that in mind after I've been on this one for a while.

[sandi2]

Good Morning all. Well, the AD med the doctor gave me was Cymbalta (May not have spelled that right). Anyway, I have been sick at my stomach ever since I started taking it Friday. I sure hate it too, b/c that stuff is expensive! Besides, I was hoping it was what I needed, but I don't think I'm going to be able to tollerate it. I kept trying it through last night and I just couldn't handle it, so I am going to back off and maybe try again later just in case it was something else, but it felt like when my ulcer is irritated, so I'm sure it was the medicine. I haven't taken anything else to cause that to happen. I read that that is one of the side effects in some people and may last a few weeks....well, I can't handle it for a few weeks b/c it is more than "slight" for me. I can't take asprin due to the same thing and that is how it kind of felt like to my stomach.

Anyway, hope everyone had a good weekend. I tried to make the most of things, such as it was. My H has not been feeling well lately either, but we got along good and there was little "touches of affection" between us....so that is a good sign.

I had to miss work....still having after effects with my stomach, but hopefully I'll be okay by tomorrow.