Imconfused0807 I'm seeing Dom's POV, but what I'm also seeing is a general feeling of negativity towards any of his suggestions without much in the way of any alternative ideas. Dom’s ideas are not a problem as I see it. His intensity is.
Dom’s suggestion if Karen1 tries a particular activity, the results will be a 50% success rate doesn’t seem to be realistic to Karen1 or me. I would estimate other people on the forum see the success rate of the said change/behavior to be closer to the very low end of the scale and accompanied by some fall-out from Mr. K1
Before I do most things to change my R with BB, I estimate the energy required on my part and what the down side might be before I implement the said change.
One partner making changes does not happen in a vacuum. There are always some costs to the OP, the R, and myself. Sometimes the benefits outweigh the cost, sometimes they don’t.
My R with BB is strained many times, and like most people me doing the same thing but more intensely, hasn’t netted me many good results.
Dom’s suggesting do something is good advice. Cobra told one poster to do less, include less activity or verbal content in his actions towards the SO, and make the SO fill in the blanks. I had to withdraw from BB to implement some of the changes in our R.
My opinion of K1 is very high. I think she is a very capable person but so is her H in his own way.
Heywyre, GEL and Karen1 have somewhat similar cases to varying degrees. The people that suggested K1 and her H see a sex therapist idea is good, which I think is the way to go.
