Hi, this is a belated reply because I have been away [working hard]. I am so sorry that your h is giving you such a hard time. My h is geting madder and madder and more and more irational, and I do think it is partly the influence of the OW who really is crazy. I mean when he started the affair people who knew and liked him were seriously concerned.
Amazed that he would trade someone like me for her, bu also because she does such mad and unpredictable things.
I am not blaming her - my h made the decision to walk, and after struggling for 2 years to maintain some sort of r with their father my three kids have separately and independently come to the decision that he is impossible to have a relationship with.
My h blames me [of course] Somehow I have managed to turn three young adult males against him, when all he was trying to do was escape from his marriage. . . . . None of this is his resonsibility. He never asks the question why three intelligent and loving people would find it impossible to have any relationship with him.
My eldest son had an email from him last Tuesday tht he said was so deranged, and full of lies that he didn't really know how to reply.
I am sure that he is going to turn very mean pretty soon now, as this comes in waves of spite.
MTN I am glad you have found someone nice - I decided to wait for my h, as I believed and hoped that the wonderful person he was pre-MLC might one day emerge, but now, two years on, I am worn out by this, and he is crazier than ever in spite of our kindness towards him.
I haven't sat around moping - I have a good job, lots of friends, and the best kids any mother could want or hope to have. BUT I do know how difficult it is to deal with someone that whenever you are kind or nice immediately uses it to find ways of hurting us and our kids even if they are grown up like mine - my younges son gets panic attacks as a result of his father's recent emotional abuse]. It makes us defensive and guarded.
Killing with kindness - well I have done that. ANd got my teeth well and truly kicked in for my pains. This does not mean I will be horrible. I means that I don't need to have any relationship at all, because my kids are adult. in your shoes I don' know what I would do.
