I second the motion that discussing the past is counterproductive. All it ever accomplishes is dragging up bad memories and bringing out our defensive nature. I have been cutting it out of my R talks with my W. She always seems to bring it up. I am convinced she does so to try to prove to herself that I am still that person and those memories of that old me help her to justify where she is today. But, she knows that I am not that same man and that I am making changes. When she brings it up, I will say politely, "I know how you feel about the things I have done or who I was in the past and I am truly sorry. You have all the right to have those feelings, I am not trying to force you to forget them, but talking about the past is not going to help us to have a better today or tomorrow. Only what we do now is going to decide that." Generally when I say something along those lines she will either agree or at least stop talking about the past and return to the conversation that pertains to today.
I would love to hear some other approaches anyones has tried when the S tries to drudge up the past.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
I'm changing my name to Mort CVA and make some money!
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
Hitting the town tonight with some girlfriends...Boob tops and matching, um, sets Some drinking, dancing and flirting. Nothing like a little boost to the PMA. Hopefully not too many shots and wild table dancing...the college boys better watch out we MILF's & Desp Housewives will be on the prowl!
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
U go girl! I will be out doing the same PMA. Minus the boob shirt that is. Have a great weekend everybody. Nomo let me kow next time u come through Chicago I'd love to meet and talk.
Hitting the town tonight with some girlfriends...Boob tops and matching, um, sets Some drinking, dancing and flirting. Nothing like a little boost to the PMA. Hopefully not too many shots and wild table dancing...the college boys better watch out we MILF's & Desp Housewives will be on the prowl!
This does sound dangerous. I might make the 3 hour drive up there. I got friends in Beantown that I could stay with. Although as a Yankee fan I don't want to be anywhere near Fenway tonight.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1162413&page=2#Post1162413 M-28 W-28 Together 10 years Married 2 years No children Things started taking a turn in 01/07
I too wanted to go out, my freind wanted me to meet a guy freind, but we have awful weather, thundering & lightning here. When it gets like this I dont like to drag the kids out and my mood/enrgy gets washed down w/ the rain also.
Some drinking, dancing and flirting. Nothing like a little boost to the PMA. Hopefully not too many shots and wild table dancing...the college boys better watch out we MILF's & Desp Housewives will be on the prowl!