H came for his regular visit last night. He ate dinner, we all acted as if evrything was normal. He complimented on the food saying its been a while since he had spanish pork chops. He organized the mess of his junk he had left in his extra room. I wonder if he sense my fear whenever he goes in there, fear of him taking his stuff back out. He left evrything as is.
We were both in a good. I even noticed a sparkle(?) in his eyes? Dont ask me what that was about? I had his favorite color on & a blouse that everyone @ work commented on how good that kind of blue looked on me. Well, he also had a very nice blue shirt on too, I thought to myself. I think he noticed how happy I was to see him. The thing they say about be always upbeat & in a good mood? It works all the time esp. w/ my H. H seems more relaxed around me.
I was in my room getting the kids lunch money organized in each for their envelopes when he came in and started touching me again.
Today I was weak:( I guess we were getting along so well & the atmosphere was like old times. We had flirted & had called each other our own kinda pet names earlier. He knows exactly how to get me going.
He knows exactly how to get me started. He closed the door when he saw I was receptive & not going to turn him down. The usual passionate kisses. I dont remember us kissing so much before but I do remember he told me not too long ago he enjoys kissing. This time I can truly say he was happy and enjoying himself, he couldnt stop smiling and causing me to do the same.
After we were done in jokingly manner I said "I hate you" but w/ the right tone." He knew what I meant by that. He didnt take offense. He knew I meant -Why do you do this to me?When I shouldnt or am not strong enough... He jokingly said thats alright I like to be hated... I said you know I am not into this casual thing.. His response, Its not...we are dating... M- We are? H- Yeah, you remember this is how we started.... M- Well, if we are dating then you should take me out H- OK M- I mean out of this ROOM, other than just sex H- Ok, ok M- Our anniversary is next month..I wonder if I will spending it alone..or maybe I need to celebrate it w/ someone else...? H- What? M- Well, I mean you will be over there & I will be here.... H- That is a entire month away... a lot can happen before then.... M- Well, like I said before dont wait too long it maybe too late You know your getting the best of both worlds..what most men want, two women at once....H-<<inserts a joke?>> no im working on third also. Is this whats happening? This way you have vareity & you dont get bored? << no meaness or anger tone here>>> He understood I was only trying to comprehend what his intentions were.
H- No I dont need that. I am not bored right now....
ANYHOO, NOTE TO SELF...why? why? why cant I jsut keep it constant in turning him down? UGH!!
NO ofensive to the men here, but why do some men do this??
Is it the dog in them? I read somewhere that us women have to feel loved and respected BEFORE we have sex & you men need to have sex , in order to feel loved???
GUYS, tell me there is some truth to this before I go insane analazing it to death.....
