Doing LRT but think i've mucked up

[saffie]

I don't know if I am the right person to comment here because when I found out about H's A I didn't know about this place. I went Bang in a big way and did not behave in the classic DBing way. However, he was never in any doubt as to how I felt. The problem in our M had been that we both thought the other one no longer loved us. We were both living our lives thinking that, whereas in reality we DID want to be with each other. Our lack of communication led to our problems, and then to my H having an A. I don't like confrontation so I kept burying my head in the sand and I was suffering from depression so found it hard to communicate with him. Instead I filled my life with other activities because I was afraid of what I was going to hear if I did start a R talk. I was stupid. In my situation things got out of hand because we did not communicate. So you see I think it is good to communicate how you feel. One doesn't have to be pushy or clingly but I think another person needs to know that you vale them and you love them. No way would I consider a R with OW still in the picture. Again I was lucky as my H is Chief Exec of the Co. and so OW had to be the one to leave.

Personally I don't think what you have said is too much. You have set boundaries. You have let him know how important he is to you. I think it is a matter of how it was said as to what was said. Only you know whether the 'how' was OK.

Is there any way he can not see this OW professionally? Do you know anything about her? My H's OW was totally off the wall. She thought that she was going to walk into my house and assume my life after abandoning her own children and H. She was delusional.

I was lucky that when my H told me about the A he had basically had enough of OW and wanted me to see her off which I did. Timing is an important factor I see over and over again in the success of peoples situations on the boards.

One thing I would say is that some people on here do appear to be at risk of detaching too much and they don't let there partner know enough how much they mean to them. Letting them know you care is not the same as pursuing - it's all a matter of how one goes about it.

Nina - if you ever want to chat, as we are in the same country, my email is gabrielle_wrightathotmail.co.uk insert the @ sign where I have typed at - if you type your email address in full on here people can search on google and get led to this site. I would be more than happy to email you my phone number. In fact my cell is 07799591499 and I have that on me all the time.

Saffie