I'm still doing it

[nephartiti]

My H has passive aggressive tendencies. I think the As If approach has diffused a lot of his aggressive energy. I stopped reacting to the spending and late arrivals. I just stopped reacting, period. He has not once been here on time, when he said he will be here. He has not really given me notice of when he is coming. Tomorrow is the second time I supposedly know he is coming. Again he says early. We'll see. It hasn't happened yet.

Before I would get PO'd and respond by retaliation or throwing all the evidence my snooping dug up in his face just to prove what a liar he was. Guess what good that did. Just pushed him farther. I had to back way off, now he's coming around. I'm just trying to stay consistent. I don't want to backslide. When I feel weak, I want to just go a little dark so I don't mess up.

Today's visit was hard. I was unprepared. I feel like I don't know him. It is like having a stranger in my home that I am attracted to. I feel awkward. Speach is difficult let alone just sitting in his presence. I'm sure he must see through me.