Advice and Support Needed II

[SueS]

lwb-

You want to see who gets on the flight faster??? Oh what I wouldn't do for a great back rub.

Our company does little outing for each quarter for their top 5 managers. My boss is the BIG guy in our state, so he gets to go each time. This past quarter, 3 of the top 5 managers were women. They did an afternoon at the spa, so my boss rubbed it in about how nice his hands, feet & nails look now. Now today they're off on another overnight outing (different group). The ladies did a spa day. I'm so jealous.

Again, I'll race you to the UK.

Have a good night!

SueS

[Dr LOve]

Hey Pamar,

Hope things are going good for ya. I'm having a great day even though Mark tried to highjack my ladies. I know there are plenty to go around but sometimes I get selfish.

hope to talk to ya soon

husband

[saffie]

Hey PMY can go on for a LONG>>>>>>>>>>> time. I was in a funk for a good two weeks this time!!!!!!!

Hope the massage went well.

And I don't even need to get on a flight to get to you....... LOL

Saffie

[Pamar]

Massage didn't happen, offered and was turned down. Didn't make a big thing out of it.

Not feeling good at the moment. Life was on the up and then from Thursday, it has been going down. Not sure if I should raise this with W or leave until counselling session next week.

I find this off/on intimacy extremely difficult to handle. I was resigned to not doing anything for the forseeable future and then we do and I get my hopes up.

Big 'as if' last night and I was the one that turned off the light first. W had work home but again is so tired that she fell asleep straight after dinner.

I feel like laying the cards out on the table, telling her (similar to h's letter) how I feel and seeing what happens.

I am still committed 100% to this marriage, but I am also feeling like walking away and finding some peace. I know I won't....at the moment, but I am getting suspicious of seemingly innocuous things. For example, there is a leaving night out night Saturday (So I have been told), but W will be working all week, including Saturday and then we have a Christening 2 hours away on the Sunday.

Now, I have to trust W, but at one level I feel that this will exhaust her and feel that I should recommend that she gives her apologies. It's a difficult call, 'cos I am almost frightened to find out if this is a lie or not.

I will be able to ask another friend tomorrow if they are going, but I hate not being able to trust my wife.

[LL44]

but I hate not being able to trust my wife.

I think we all know how much this sucks, and how we never thought we would be second guessing or worrying.

I think you guys are ok, totally fine. Just a hard road, even when people are trying to fix it and are committed. Nothing wrong with composing a letter and working on it, while you wait it out and see if you want to give it to her.

[Pamar]

lwb,

Wish I was as confident as you. Have a night away on Sunday and I would love to be intimate, but don't think I will be thought of well if I initiate.

I want her to be committed and to try and fix this mess, but she is certainly not at the moment.

Never mind, DB and 'as if' to the fore and smile sweetly when she comes home.

[LL44]

I want her to be committed and to try and fix this mess, but she is certainly not at the moment.

Oh I feel your pain. I think I would feel better if H was committed back to me, on my 'team' per say.

"As if" is our only way. We have learned that the other stuff doesn't work.

[Pamar]

OK, weekend out of the way and ...... the rollercoaster is on the up.

Saturday we had to go into town and get new contact lenses for W.

Pottered around town picking up bits and bobs, and then came home to watch the rugby. W cleaned the car whilst I pottered. Wasn't feeling too well and was taking medicine to try and fight it off. We were also due out with some friends that night to listen to a local band and W said that if I didn't feel well enough, that she would go on her own. I was determined to fight feeling ill and we went out and enjoyed a nice evening. Came back just before midnight and settled into bed, still feeling ill.

We woke up early on Sunday and I decided to initiate (see if it would help my illness ). W and I then became intimate which was lovely and then fell back asleep, W then got up and tidied around the house, something she has not done for ages.

In the afternoon we were due to travel to a hotel for an overnight and again W asked (when I got up), if I felt well enough. Stated that I wanted to go (it was a Christmas present from her) and we set off at 4.00 p.m. Pleasant drive, small talk and singing along to Elvis. Arrived at 7.17 p.m. and had a pleasant meal then watched the Scotland rugby match (boo hiss). Then bed. I didn't sleep well as I was nervous about Land Yachting next day.

Woke at 7.00 a.m. and I decided to get intimate again.....and we did Only downer was there was no wind so I didn't get to do the activity. Instead we agreed to travel to Canterbury and visit the Cathedral; before that we had a nice walk next to the sea. Nice afternoon spent there, bought some Christmas presents for my father and the children, followed by a pleasant journey home.

Little to no R talk all weekend and when we went to bed last night, W stated she was not looking forward to work.

Overall, a very enjoyable weekend. I will not pressure her for intimacy now as she is going into the wrong phase of her cycle and has just started a hard week’s work. Will leave her until the middle of our holiday and see what happens. C this week also, so we will see what that brings.

I am glad I fought my illness as previously I would have given in and not bothered going out, so tick in the box for me.

[Yoyowife]

Sounds like a lovely weekend. I'm glad it was so nice for you. Good job on the no relationship talk.

Yoyo

[stubborn]

God, actual sex with your spouse, more than once? You do realize there are folks that can only dream of that, right? Just to give you a gauge of how well things ARE going for you.

I've been reading your thread and marvel that nobody else thought to suggest this:

If your wife is stressed and you feel a massage would help why not BUY her one from a PROFESSIONAL? That way you don't look like you're just on the make, willing to rub her down in order to get to feel her up! You look good because you actually bought her a gift, it could be a surprise etc etc...it's also part of act as if because if things were fine and good between you, you'd buy her a gift, right? Most massage folks would issue a gift cert and you can give her that along with your mentioning that, of course, you'll keep the kids, so, when would she like to schedule so that you know when to figure out something for you and the kids to do together WHILE she gets her massage? (run on and bad grammar but you get what I mean) This also makes you look like a good dad, which I'd guess you are but actions point that out. She will have two reasons to think about why she wouldn't want to lose you: 1)you're kind and generous and 2) a great dad!