Uuuuuuuuum Dom. I have not exaggerated in any way. I had forgotten that it had not been quite a year. However, if you add the 9 months of pregnancy to the 5 month old child and get 14 months and consider that we had sex less than five total times since getting pregnant and last Valentine's Day calling it a year isn't such an exaggeration. I didn't say he never gave me oral I did say that he's only done it a handful of times in the six years we have been together. I did say that since we married he NEVER initiated it and I do mean NEVER (he said he liked it when we were dating). When I say never, I mean never. When I say rarely it generally means a few times a year at best. No exaggeration.
When I say I have shown appreciation to H I mean that I have made comments in bed like, "Wow, that was really nice", comments out of bed like "nice outfit" (when he is naked), notes that say "I love you", even sent flowers once after a really nice weekend together (he likes flowers). I have told him that he has a nice butt. I have said, "That was great we'll have to do it again sometime. How about Friday?". I have written him an explicit story that was like a Penthouse forum featuring he and I. What is likely is that I will make a comment while in bed and maybe email a nice note the next day. He won't say anything after the comment and doesn't respond to the email unless he just says "I love you." I love you is his all purpose response to me feeling sad, scared, lonely, horny, happy, etc... That is the "usual" response to my shows of appreciation. Oh yes, lest I forget....I try to also respond in his LL which is acts of service - mix him a drink, make something he likes for dinner, watch Star Trek with him etc....
I had a miserable day yesterday with a sick 3yo and a 10 yr old who is going on 17 and decided to try my patience. I wrote H a note and said I felt like I was getting an "F" in parenting that child while getting "B's" with the others. He wrote a very considerate response where he said that from where he sits I am doing all the right things and that he is sorry that he has been emotionally and physically bankrupt due to his work schedule. He is a good man and most of the time I believe that he loves me. At times I question his choice in marrying me. I think he was looking for a nice person, a good Mom, someone to share the burdens of life with - if so, he got that. Nothing to be sexually excited there.
I did read the Sex Starved Marriage and found it somewhat helpful but more so if he would read it - he didn't. I found Passionate Marriage to describe a lot more of the deep issues that we seem to be confronting.
