I was almost a WAW (and still am-- in my heart?)

[Dom R]

Well hi there...
good thing I didnt read this yesterday, i think

good thing you actually let that out.

ok. Now.. it's out there. What do you want to do about it?

here's the thing:
YES. Your husband has problems.
YES. His actions contributed in part, to the sad state of intimacy , or lack thereof, that you two are now in.

NO. you do not know his motivations for his actions.

Even today, Men. Are. Dumb. when it comes to relationships.
Nowadays, they at least realize that they're "supposed to do something". Even though they dont know what it is.
But a man born in the 1940s, probably didnt even realize that he was supposed to do something.
His role is "to go to work, and support the family".

But, his answer was always the same.....just have more sex and that would solve the problems of the world!

And, as a man, I believe that was truely his belief at the time. he was trying to do what he thought would improve things between you two... you refused... and that was the end of his repertoire.
There was nothing else that he understood how to do. so he gave up.
[well, that... and living with his MOTHER didnt help things either.... brrr.. shudder]

So here's the thing:
He's a typical product of a 1940's male child. he doesnt know how/isnt comfortable talking about his feelings. He barely even recognizes that he has any deeper level emotions (that stuff is girly, squash it down, it doesnt exist).

He is dependant on a 1940's style female, to be able to draw him out, and do all the emotional "grunt work", to fix the relationship.
The negatives: you have to be the relationship driver
The positives: if you do it, he will follow, because he knows that's what he's "supposed to do".

So. What are you going to do?
Do you want to go find a 30ish year old man, who is "in touch with his feelings", and a great "emotional communicator"?
Or would you rather stick with fulfilling the role you signed up for when you got married, and lead your old warhorse, to a better place with you?