My wife wants out !!

[dadtotwo]

Well fellow DB'ers, it is that time to accept that my M is definitely over. The loss of trust and the financial damage were just too much. My W has asked that we do this amicably so there will be no bitterness or animosity that could effect our kids.

She has let her guard down somewhat and let me know that she wishes she could feel different about me as we have a history and 2 children together. The poor choices I made, without her knowledge, left us in dire straits and it never got better.

She waited as long as she could stand it to give me a chance to get us back on track but I was unable to. She didn't want it to come to this as she said, "the kids adore you" but she doesn't feel that trying for me or the kids is right.

I won't resist, but I am not going to help her get a D. I must think of what is the best for my D&S as they stand to be hurt the most.

I am missing her and them every day and it will soon be permanent. My W & kids belong with me but things don't always happen the way we want....God Bless

[Jeff223]

Sorry for this turn of events.

She has let her guard down somewhat and let me know that she wishes she could feel different about me as we have a history and 2 children together. The poor choices I made, without her knowledge, left us in dire straits and it never got better.

She waited as long as she could stand it to give me a chance to get us back on track but I was unable to. She didn't want it to come to this as she said, "the kids adore you" but she doesn't feel that trying for me or the kids is right.

I got that EXACT same speech. If only they would have come to us before they turned the lights off. THAT is what I cannot fully understand or fully forgive.

I won't resist, but I am not going to help her get a D. I must think of what is the best for my D&S as they stand to be hurt the most.

Best advice I can give is to get it over as quickly as possible. Seems they NEED the signed D-papers. Once they get to this point, whatever we do is not good enough to get them to reconsider. So our only alternative is to *give up*.

Then things may get better. I have seen it happen here. Time and reality start to set in and if you truely support their decision and grow as a man/father, some have indeed reconsidered. No, it has not happened to me, but you never know.

So again, concentrate on you - become the best man you can and the best father you can. Your kids DO adore you - you are their example. Be the man your son will want to grow up to be. Be the man your daughter will want to marry.

Stand proud and good luck.

[Dom R]

I won't resist, but I am not going to help her get a D. I must think of what is the best for my D&S as they stand to be hurt the most.

Good for you.

I dont think that you have to "accept that my M is definitely over."
What you do have to accept, is that your wife does not want to work on it right now. SO, just like you seem to already have decided: Let her do whatever it is she believes that she "has to do". you just dont have to help her do it, if it is not something that YOU believe should be done.


If what you said is true, about all your financial/job gambling having "paid off", and you being in a situation where things finally look solid for you... I would suggest just staying the course.. in a way that does not shut out time for your family.

My W has asked that we do this amicably so there will be no bitterness or animosity that could effect our kids.

"amicably" or not... you should get a lawyer, to protect yourself, and your future with your children.
Then let the lawyer deal with all the legal side of things.

Meanwhile, that will hopefully leave you free to be more open with your family.

ie: let the lawyer do the fighting, so you dont get caught up in it yourself.