I can totally relate. I wonder if my H is in MLC or what, then I stop. It doesn't matter. I've been working on me too. Can't see all the changes, but I feel good.
What if he doesn't discover deeper feelings, what if..... You need to stop the spin cycle. I do this by focusing on our D's and what's best for them. His being here will help to insulate them from poor choices they could make in their teen years (and later). I also do something of intrest to me. I'm going to take a couple of classes soon, I go dancing some (we used to dance together so sometimes i have a little trouble here). Do you have a hobby? I know it's hard esp with a 3year old. Even reading and doing something at home.
Don't panic about having said you'd live as friends. You'd hit me to know wome of what I said to H early on.
