new here and really worried

[littlebitlost]

The issue is even they don't know what they are looking for. They know they are missing something but have no idea what they are looking for

In my case this was exactly the truth and I did not know what was missing or what I was looking for until I left and looked at my life from a totally different perspective. Once out I gained both perspective and a great appreciation

To me the person walking away is the one that does not want to admit their part in it. They want to run away

This was also true in my case. I am not sure that it is true in all cases though. If there is any kind of abuse, physical, verbal, mental abuse then I think the whole dynamic changes. I for myself did want to run away and not just from my marriage but from all my problems. This is a character flew that I have discovered about myself and that I ma working very hard to change

They don't want to get any new tools

Depends...The WAS who is here on the posting board or in counseling is OBVIOUSLY looking for new tools...the trip to enlightenment is different for everyone and looking for new tools comes with the realization that you NEED them for both yourself and the LBS

When you post here you open yourself up to anything. You have to understand that you are going to hear things you don't like

You post on a board like this because you feel you need help, you need something...you have lost some kind of control. Beautiful thing about this board is you control. You have control over what you decide to take or leave behind from people posting to you, what advice you accept and whether you choose to or not to act on it! That is the wonderful thing about a place like this......you will get it from all perspectives!!!

Sandi2...I am sorry that someone left the board because she did not like what she was hearing. That is very unfortunate. Someone new who is in real crisis I feel needs to be dealt with very carefully at first. The are nto ready for the 2x4's or for the harsh reality checks. I hope that she found another posting board or place to help her.