Skots, I am sorry for thinking you were hyper. After a good nights sleep. (It's 3:00am now) I understand where you are coming from. I am sure if you or I read my thread from 6 months ago I sounded the same way. To give you a quick back ground. My W and I were not "being intimate" for a long while. I being a stupid man thought it was because my W was going through menopause. I was willing to except that because I married for better or worst. Then when working on our computer I needed to free up some memory and found some pictures of my W naked with her XBF. Now this guy was married when we were dating and they kind of fool around on his wife way back then. (19 years ago). But she had stopped because she finely figured out that he was just stringing her along. So fast forward to now the pictures I found were taken when she was supposed to be with her "Girl friends" on an overnighter at OUR TIME SHARE. I was devastated. I cried like a baby. I begged and pleaded with my W to give ME a second chance. OK now lets look at this statement "I CRYIED AND PLEADED WITH MY W FOR A SECOND CHANCE" WHY???????? I didn't do any thing. Why am I asking for a second chance? As yoyo, Sara, Saffie, Matilda, My hippie mama Cali and everyone else here will tell ya I have been back and forth between anger and hurt. But....... You have helped me see the light. My W is ALWAYS saying how fat she is. I do think she has a low self esteem. To be honest yes she is a little over weight. She has gained a few pounds since we got married. But I love her. I am not really attracted to those pole bean women anyway. But getting back to you, reading your post you said something to the extent that your husband looking at porn on the computer "made you" look outside your marriage and ended up having the affair. It's amazing how some people on here have admitted at attempting suicide and I am embarrassed / afraid to admit that I did turn to porn to get by when my W was not being "intimate" with me. That is one of the things she said to me the day I was slobbering like a child that it bothered her that I did that. You got me thinking. See like I said sex is different for MOST men that women. And I guess men looking at porn makes women feel that they are not good enough for their husbands. What I thought I was doing to keep faithful to my W was actually hurting her more. I have been wanting to talk to Tal about this but just never got around to it. Then here you come out of the blue and the light comes on. I may be chasing another rainbow in trying to fix my marriage but I think I am at a good place to do it. It's like my old marriage had caught fire and was burned down to the ground. The last few months I have been cleaning up the garbage and tearing down the old walls. I have poured a new foundation and am ready to start build the new house.
Skot's you have a long journey ahead. You will have many up's and downs. It is not going to be easy. You will have nervous break downs and days of extreme hope just to have them topple over again. But if you want your marriage to work hang in there. Even if it does not you will be a better person in the end. Yoyo and Saffie, I pretty much said what I was going to e-mail you about so I may not e-mail ya. I do have some plans in the works but I had to get this off my chest. Skot's if you want to ask me anything you can e-mail me at Manuelm1@comcast.net
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
