Oh, man, it is WAY too early. I could NOT sleep last night and now I'm up @ 4:30 a.m.

I may have to get a hysterectomy done and I'm only 35. I guess I'm having "issues" as to whether to talk to H about it. I know I won't say anything until I know for sure. I think one of the things that bothers me is that I was having these problems about a year and a half ago and it seemed almost as if that is what jump started the whole D sitch. H almost seemed angry w/ me for not feeling well, etc. I guess I'm afraid that it will "bring it all back" for him or something. That he may start having the same feelings again when the same things start happening.

I know I can't live my life this way. I know I need to take care of myself physically as well.

Then I start getting "paranoid" about what I said to H yesterday about FIL. I honestly don't bring up the whole sitch a lot, but then I'm afraid after something like that happens, that H is going to start feeling irritated w/ me.

Ok, just journaling my feelings. Probably just PMS \:\)

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10