Stories don't always end

[BeingMe]

I think my H defines trying as not leaving. But, I am only going by his actions, since he won't talk to me. I tried again the night before last ... just asking him if this is all he wants out of our M, and he said that it's not ... so, I asked him what he's going to do to change it, but we were interrupted and never got back to it. He will avoid all R talk as much as possible.

I am really thinking of ending it ... he leaves on Saturday to find a place in WA, then on to Virginia for orientation for his new job. I think it will only be a matter of time before he betrays me out of loneliness. Sure ... he says he'll be home every weekend, but I am just waiting for the first one where he has some excuse for not being home. I can't do this anymore. He didn't stay for me ... he stayed for the children, which is laudable, but where does that leave me? I want a real M.

I am so tired of this.