I have read enough to get an idea of your stitch. Even though I am on the other side of the fence, my heart goes out to you. I think so many men just don't get it when it comes to understanding the feelings and emotions of us women. He thinks everything is "fixed" now and he should be able to return to the very.......what word to use here?......atmosphere and schedule that help to assist him into an A. If I read enough to get that right.
I gather that he thought the M workshop and the good long talk you both had when you got home......fixed the problem. As women, we understand that it takes much more than that. If he had been trapped in a burning building coming down on top of him....I bet he would be leary of fires after that experience. Just seeing a burning building would remind him of how painful it was and bring back all that memory of the burn. He can't understand why you can't just forgive.....forget....and move on. He probably thinks....or will think....that you are "hanging on" to the problem that should be over by now.
Gee, I hope I'm not making things worse for you by saying these negative things. I'm sorry sweetie. Sometimes in my compassion I don't always say the correct things people need to hear. I guess what I am saying is that that is part of the differences in the sexes and how we think so differently from each other. Not all men are that way, I don't think, after reading a lot of their threads here on the board I have changed my mind about that. But, a lot of men still think like that. They are "fixers" and they want it done yesterday and move on and forget it all ever happened. Part of women's therapy is to talk about it and "work" through it. He thought you two did that when you had that talk the other day. Now, it should be completed.
If you have ever read any of Gary Smalley's books, then you know what he says about "word pictures" and how we have to use that with men sometimes. Have you ever tried that with your H? I tried it once with mine, but I don't know if he "got it" or not...lol.
I'm not being helpful here, so I'll hush. I just wanted you to know that another woman was here for you if you want to vent. My H has never talked to me and that was the beginning of our breakdown in the M. I needed it so badly and he just did not even try, so then I couldn't respond to him sexually. So, after many years a lot of resentment has built up and very high walls built around both of us. I hope that won't happen with the two of you.
I'm here every day or night.....so drop in and see me whenever you need to.
Sandi2
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
