I realize that gaining full custody would be difficult for W. I know that the MIL has blessed my W taking up with the OM and having him father my S's. (Apparently, OM is not the biological father of his W's kids, so this would be a familiar role for him -- playing father for someone else's children.)
Originally Posted By: andyv
I hope I haven't confused you even more
Oh, no, far from it, Andy. I really appreciate it.
I think I have been finally getting myself mentally ready to truly detach and go dark. I am now just utterly disgusted with my W, and I am not feeling much love for this "new" person she's become. She's been taking full advantage of my delirium and my struggles to adapt to this shakey situation. Keeping me off balance has helped her to get what she wants out of me. It really is "all about her" in her mind.
I can be congenial, but that's about it. I'm going dark -- stealth black. The only time I intend to show up on radar is for our children, only out of necessity since she is now using them too as a wedge issue.
I feel really good having come back from my Bible Studies class tonight. The scriptures give me so much support in coping with this situation. I realize that much of my depression and dissatisfaction in life has come because I have forgotten to put God foremost in my life. I placed my career, my aspirations, my family, my marriage, my wife all ahead of my relationship with Him. i am restoring the correct balance to my life.
On the way down to church, I stopped to see my S's and wished them good-night. S6 still thinks he has the power to change our situation -- I quickly took him aside and reminded him again what I had stressed to him, that there was nothing either he or I could do to fix this situation. I told him I and his mother were trying to work this out (a lie, since I am the only one actually trying) and that this was not his burden. I reminded him that he should pray to God that we get through this -- that is the most important thing that any of us can do.
While I had my back turned away from W explaining to S6 in hushed tones, he tried to engage his mother by saying that we need to tell her this important information as well (he's so cute in how he means well and wants to help.) That was when W chimed in saying it was okay to S6 ...and then I knew that W could understand what I was saying to our S, even though she was in the kitchen and we were in the dining area. I don't really care, as I figure she'd be a lot more guarded in what I say to our S about these matters anyway. And I got the impression she did not disprove of what I said tonight to ease the burden off S6.
