Re whether or not this is DBing, I'm not sure. The DB coach I talked to said to tell him, "I'm just not there yet, I'm sorry," told me not to agree if I don't.
Originally Posted By: S.T._I Made It!
However, he is being torn by causing this rift in the family and if YOU felt the same way, it would be so perfect and he wouldn't feel guilty anymore.
So to clarify, ST, you're saying I'll be easing his guilt if I tell him it's okay, you're right, the M is done, it's impossible to fix, etc, and that's a bad thing?
And Nomo's saying, go ahead and ease his guilt (if it does) because it'll give you a better shot in the long run?
I think perhaps the difference between this and DBing per se is this is less aggressively honest about how I feel. I mean, I know DBing says, hey, it's not about how you feel right now, but when things get down and dirty, you speak the truth, calmly and unemotionally, and let the S deal with their own reaction.
Not sure there. Anyone?
Hey MMan! I'm not sure about brave, but I guess that's what you get when you try to let go of the fear, or maybe just move right on through it. I understand what you said to W, though. I bet we're driving them nuts with all the validation and subtle hints, though. H keeps telling me, great! That's some really good active listening you're doing there, but how about what YOU think? He better watch out or one day I might tell him.
Well, I assume H got the email, but hasn't responded. I just sent a quick text message because I wanted him to pick something up on the way from work. Then when I checked back 30 seconds later I found "What? I'm leaving" then "Okay, out." Oh well. Doesn't sound particularly friendly, does it?
